so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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