Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
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