Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
