please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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