i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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