Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
