Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
