I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he puts the penis in happiness.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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