doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i believe in u and ur pee
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
