He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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