I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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