Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize