this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
