So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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