Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
