why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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