I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
