Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
