Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
