I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize