Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
