theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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