help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it because I queefed?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize