Your favorite bartender is back from prision
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
