Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
