Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
