The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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