all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
