At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She bit a glass in half.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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