its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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