Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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