She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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