My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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