Dual....:-)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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