Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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