apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
