At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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