dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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