he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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