I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
