plz talk dirty to me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
