So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
