so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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