plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
