please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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