What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
