Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
