My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
