he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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