kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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