somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
