tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize