Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
