Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
