Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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