the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
