It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
