um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
