You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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