We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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