why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
