I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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